Tag Archives: writing

Dragons of Wellsdeep – Pages 20 & 21 edit

Dragons of Wellsdeep_pg20_Dawn Blair

Dragons of Wellsdeep_pg21_Dawn Blair


Dragons of Wellsdeep_pg20_edit_Dawn Blair

Dragons of Wellsdeep_pg21_edit_Dawn Blair

 

When I get to editing this for the rewrite, I need to push the characters more here and how they are reacting off of one another. Especially if you take a look at all the “was” words on page 21. This is an overload for me. That definitely tells me there’s a problem! Yes, it is all telling. Fortunately I have a lot of room to work with, so it’s just a matter of of untying the knot I’ve got here and fixing it. I look forward to it.

Yes, adding those layers and deepening the story is what makes if fun. I promise.

Happy writing!

 

When the writing gets hard

Yes, there are days when the writing gets hard. There are days when the editing gets harder.

Go on, Google all you want on creative blocks. You’ll find lots of answers.

Yes, follow all those leads if you will: read a book, take a walk, write anyway, edit anyway, blah, blah, blah.

The truth is there are just some days when you can’t do it. This blog is as much about my journey in writing as it is yours. It is my legacy. Someday someone will come along and read this and know that I’m sharing everything I know about writing with you in order to help you.

So here it is, the truth about when the writing gets hard:

Suck it up, cupcake. No job or career is fun all the time. There are times when you just have to make yourself have the discipline to step forward into the task you don’t really want to do. If you want to wait on the Muse, put down your pencil or delete all the writing files off your hard drive now. You cannot wait for anything. You only have this moment because one minute, one hour from now and it’s gone. Hard work requires discipline. If you want to have your book done, you have to do it.  Put your butt in the chair and do the work or suffer the regret later. That’s your choice.

Now I’m really going to injure those creative block lists. The thing is, they aren’t all wrong either. Sometimes you do need to step away for a moment. A moment! Half an hour or less, if you think that life won’t suck you into something else. Don’t let drama happen to you in order to procrastinate. If you think that’s going to happen, skip this paragraph and move right to the next one.

Just because you don’t want to write one book, or if you feel it’s too difficult of a scene for you to write from where you’re at in your life right now, switch to something else. Yes, you heard me. Start another project. (gasp!) I’ve found that everything cycles around. I’ve learned to listen to my Muse and what she wants to work on. Sometimes I have a schedule for a book and I have to override the Muse — but hey, who really is in control of this body anyway? When she gets a body, she can do what she wants too. Until then, I ask, “What would you like to work on?”, she answers, then I have to decide if it’s really wise or not. My decision. Then I step into discipline, put my butt in the chair, and get to work.

I generally have 2 or 3 projects going at once. My main writing projects right now are, of course, Sacred Knight and The Loki Adventures. After that, I know that I have Dragons of Wellsdeep to write for this blog. If I really don’t want to work on any of those projects, I also have the script for my Weblinks comic (which I’m also lining out at a novel when I have time and inclination), and another young adult story. I like having lots of ideas. I might not feel like working on one story at the moment, but surely there is another which I can easily lean into and work on.

If I don’t, I write anyway. Unless I really can’t. But that’s usually because I’ve gone into a cycle to draw or paint and that’s a whole other can of worms.

So write. Be disciplined, even if you don’t feel like. The Muse will sit down with you when she realizes you are serious. She usually just wants to see you get to work first.

Get to it. Happy writing.

Dragons of Wellsdeep – Pages 18 &19 edit

 

Dragons of Wellsdeep_pg18_Dawn BlairDragons of Wellsdeep_pg19_Dawn Blair


Dragons of Wellsdeep_pg18_edited_Dawn Blair

Dragons of Wellsdeep_pg19_edited_Dawn Blair

 

Remember my post from last Thursday about balancing your posts. Yeah, these pages show my definite weakness for setting. Fortunately, that’s why we edit our manuscript!

Once again we’re in the “white room” and there’s a lot of talking. It’s not all talking, so that’s good, but wouldn’t you like to know what Sundancer looks like. I do, but right now it’s in my head. I have so got to get it out.

Another thing I’ve alluded to, but never really said is that they have speed healing. This would be a great scene to put it in. I started thinking about his mouth and gums, how he had steam coming out of his mouth. It’s not possible for him to be unhurt. When was the last time you drank scalding coffee or tea and wished you hadn’t?

Also, notice how with the names, Serchk and Sundancer, we start to have a lot of alliteration going on in the middle of page 19. I’ve underlined all the S’s just so I remember to change something.

Well, I have a lot of work ahead of me to get this part whipped into shape. Bring it on!

Happy writing.

Have you found your writing flow?

In last Sunday’s post, I mentioned how my first drafts are heavy on the action and dialogue and include minimal setting details. I didn’t figure this out overnight. In fact, I didn’t even figure it out myself. My critique partners mentioned it when they asked why I didn’t write screenplays. Both of them were very aware that I saw my stories in a cinematic fashion and I do; I see everything as if I’m watching a movie. They told me that I should stick with my strengths and let a set designer and costumer do the rest of the work.

The fact is that screenwriting is a difficult industry to get into. I certainly don’t have the connections to make it happen, not without more work than I want to put in. I’d rather do a couple more subsequent drafts of adding the detail.

Here’s a colorful tip for getting a visual on your strengths:

Take some highlighters, none that will cover up your text or make it difficult to see what you’ve written and start going through your manuscript. Color dialogue in yellow (or the color of your choosing), setting and other detail words in blue, thoughts, internalization, or point of view indicators in pink, and everything that is left will be narrative.

Let’s have an example (since I can’t highlight, I will change the font color):

Caitlyn looked out the window at the darkening sky while she parted the heavy, velvet drapes with her hands. With the sun fading behind the clouds, she could dare to open up her world some. She reached down to put on her sunglasses, which hung from a chain around her neck. Her grandmother had always kept a pair of reading glasses on this chain, but Caitlyn didn’t need cheaters like that. Dark lens were another thing.

“Ow!” complained Lucky behind her as she drew the curtain across the rod. She glanced back at him, sitting at the mahogany table with his usual pile of papers before him. He capped his hand over his eyes, shielding them from the light of the overcast day. “Did you have to go and do that?”

“If it doesn’t hurt my eyes, it shouldn’t hurt yours,” Caitlyn responded as she opened the other curtain. If only for a moment, she enjoyed feeling human again.

So I have narrative in blue, dialogue in pink, details in reddish-brown, and thoughts/internalization in green.

Now, this isn’t an exact science. Sometimes things could fall into two categories — for example, I thought “chain around her neck” could be a detail or just part of the narrative. I gave myself the benefit of the detail here.

I did write this with the intent of it being a fairly balanced piece. If you have done this exercise for several pages of your manuscript, you should find that narrative is the most common, followed by details, then dialogue, then thoughts/internalization. You’ll see here that the blue (narrative) is the most used, followed by details (6 instances), then dialogue (3 instances), and thoughts (2 instances). If you have a scene which is heavy on the dialogue, make sure you don’t have a “talking heads” scene where the participants are just talking back and forth with no action or setting details. If you are still having narrative and details, but there’s a lot of dialogue, make sure it is balanced and flowing just so it’s not all speech; break the rhythm every now and then. Again, it’s not an exact science, just an experiment to show you how you work. Once you know your own writing flow, you know what you need to work on in the next draft.

Happy writing!

Dragons of Wellsdeep – pages 16 & 17 edit

Dragons of Wellsdeep_pg16_Dawn Blair

Dragons of Wellsdeep_pg17_Dawn Blair


Dragons of Wellsdeep_pg17_edited_Dawn Blair

Dragons of Wellsdeep_pg16_edited_Dawn Blair

We’re starting to get into a scene that was very easy for me to write. I’m starting to feel like I have a good handle on the characters, though what Moonhunter is up to is still a little vague and unclear. It’s developing and that’s good. I’m still also waiting to get his motivation, but I trust that it will fall into place; I’ve been giving it a lot of thought still.

In some ways, writing this is feeling a lot like writing The Loki Adventures. I don’t see the whole journey, only the next step. But, if you’ve been reading the posts I’ve been putting out on Thursdays as well as this one, you know that I’m a big believer in just getting the story out on the page. Once you’ve written something, then you can go back and figure out the actual story. It’s like going to the store and buying clay; okay, that part has been successful, but now you need to mold it into something.  Honestly, I’ve reached a point where I wish my painting was as easy as my writing (strange, because for quite a number of years it was the other way around). Enough whining. Onward!

On these two pages, I’m wanting a lot more description. Yeah, that’s no shocker. I know that I first write with a lot of action and dialogue. You might be completely different. I know authors that write tons of description in their first drafts, then they have to go back and work it in. But for me, I’m moving with the story, transcribing what’s happening. Then I have to go back, re-dream the dream so to speak, and pull the setting out of my head to put it onto the page.

Now that I know exactly what Moonhunter is up to in the next scene, I really need to go back and heighten his worry that Balthier knows something. And because he’s developing his special powers, I need to really slow down and introduce the reader to what he’s doing and why. Again, I know it’s in my head. I just have to get it out on the page for the reader. I know you don’t realize it, but when Moonhunter’s voice deepens, that’s part of the dragon change and him gathering fire within him. You’ll see that again in the next couple of pages that reference is made to it again, along with a note to myself that when Moonhunter is aboard the ship with Balthier and he makes the room hot that it’s him working on his dragon breath. I might not have even remembered that when I was editing those pages, but I did make myself a note to go back and check.

Get it out, get it down on the page. Form into something later, once you know what you’re building.

Happy writing!

When Your Details Stops the Story

Beginning and novice writers fall prey to this clever little deceiver when they suddenly realize that they hadn’t included any details in a scene. They start popping them in without thinking about their placement or they rush back during a rewrite and drop them in like they are sprinkling in raindrops. These haphazard details smear across the page and take the characters hostage at knife point to completely stop the story. Here’s a scene I see way too often:

Mary jumped out of the car and ran into the house. The little two-story cottage style abode had a white picket fence surrounding it. The lawn had been cut two days ago, and already it showed signs of needing to be watered. Shelby barked at Mary as she unlocked the door with one of the many keys on her key ring. She had about 10 on the loop, but the house key was the only golden one. Inside, the hallway was dark, despite the bright day outside. She flipped on the light and rushed inside. The new carpet squished beneath her feet. The hallway still smelled of fresh paint. A breeze, as if a window had been left open, pressed against her warm skin. She noticed a coffee cup sitting on the low table in the middle of the living room. With a shock, she noticed someone was in there, sitting casually in the recliner. She entered the room. The ornate room had red carpet that hadn’t yet been replaced. As a child, her grandmother had never let her play in the room and had hardly used it herself, so the carpet was hardly worn. All her grandmother’s nick-knacks remained on the fireplace hearth just in front of the mirror in which she could now see the reflection of the man sitting in the room. A lamp was on beside him, shining onto a book he’d pulled from the shelf beside the fireplace. He slammed it shut as Mary entered the room. The sound made her jump.

Okay, well, that’s a start. But there’s a lot that needs work. Let’s start at the top.

Mary first gets out of the car and runs into the house. Then, it’s like she backs up in reverse so we can see not only the house, but the white picket fence, the lawn, the dog, and the keys. Not only has that stopped the reader, but it’s made the reader go backwards too.

Remodeling the house might be important, especially in light of the room that Grandmother left pretty much untouched — it was a show room, one reserved for company and special occasions and otherwise not used. I got that from writing this. Did you get that sense from reading it? Possibly not. So there were thoughts of the author that the reader might not get.

Then, we have the stranger in the room. Did you notice how even after she’d realized that someone was in the house she still reflected on the carpet, the nick-knacks, and the lamp without having a reaction to him. In fact, Mary doesn’t react at all until he slams the book closed. Let me ask you: if you came home to discover a stranger in your house, would you think about these things or would you be dialing 9-1-1 already? Yeah, let’s not make our characters do things we ourselves wouldn’t do (unless there is a very good reason for it, like she knows the cops are right behind her already).

Do you also see how the details of the story are listed like facts? Starting with the keys, in describing that she has 10 of them on her ring, right on the lamp. The story has pretty much stopped in this time, except for her turning and realizing that someone is in the house — that’s the only action. All the rest are details that have stopped the story.

So, now let’s fix this:

Mary pulled the car to the curb outside of her two-story cottage style house. She pushed her way through the gate of the white picket fence, reaching down quickly to pet Shelby as he barked a greeting to her. Mary riffled through the multiple keys on the ring for the golden house key and unlocked the door. Through the darkness of the hallway, the scent of fresh paint greeted her. She flipped the light and as she turned, she noticed a coffee cup sitting on the low table in the living room. A soft breeze drifted across her face as if someone had opened a window. Her heartbeat quickened as she stepped toward the room. The new carpeting squished beneath her shoes, dampening the sound of her movement. As she drew closer, she saw a black hole on the shelf where a book had been removed from the others. She scanned quickly to see if anything else in the room had been disturbed. All of her grandmother’s nick-knacks were lined up perfectly across the fireplace mantle. She looked up into the mirror above the fireplace which reflected the rest of the room and saw him. The stranger’s eyes locked with hers. He sat in the recliner, the book in his hands. He slammed it shut, making Mary jump, as he made to stand.

First we see Mary making her way from the car to the house. We show the reader the house from the vantage point of the car and move her through the fence and into the yard. Gone now is the state of the grass — it’s not important to the scene. The dog stays, because the dog is a state of normalcy — she’s expecting to see the dog and since the dog isn’t freaking out about someone being inside the house, the reader doesn’t expect it and must wonder how someone got passed the dog. This creates suspense.

Also notice in the first example how things are separated from the rest of the story: hallway was dark, carpet squished, fresh paint smelled, etc. All these things are independent sentences on their own. But in the second example, I’ve actually blended these things into the scene. They are no longer facts being told, but have a reason for being in the story: the carpet dampens the sound of her walking, the hallway is dark to bring on a sense of foreboding, the odor of the paint greets her in another warm gesture to make her feel safe in opposition to the dark hallway. Even the items in the room are no longer facts, but clues as she discovers the stranger in her house.

I did take out the whole part about the house being her grandmother’s. It probably is important, but not here. What’s important here is Mary returning home to find a stranger.

Any time you have details in your story that are standing alone like facts being shouted from a textbook, find a way to blend them into your story. If you don’t, they stop the story.

If you’d like another example of this, check out my chapter on narrative in The Write Edit.

Until next time, happy writing.

Dragons of Wellsdeep – pages 14 & 15 edit

Dragons of Wellsdeep_pg14_Dawn Blair

Dragons of Wellsdeep_pg15_Dawn Blair


Dragons of Wellsdeep_pg14_edited_Dawn Blair

Dragons of Wellsdeep_pg15_edited_Dawn Blair

Well, there’s not really a whole lot to say about these two pages except that my pronoun problem which I spoke about in last week’s post has gotten so much worse. I’m still not sure how to rewrite this other than to slow it down and add setting and narrative, but that will come.

Because this is a repeat problem, I really don’t have a lot to say about these two pages. I hope your own writing is coming along well.

Don’t forget: if you’re having any questions on your own work, patterns that you’re seeing and would like to solve, send me an email.

Until next time, happy writing!

 

Manuscript Mechanics: Italics vs. Underline

Welcome to the showdown between italics and underlines.

Since my last couple of posts have been deep, I thought I’d go for something a little more technical on the manuscript preparation side of things.

I remember when I was writing when I was growing up. I used an old brown Smith Corona typewriter. If I was really lucky, my mother would let me use her old greet IBM typewriter. I also remember the stern advice that came from the writing magazines: don’t use italics; always underline things you want to appear in italics when you book is published. Great advice, except for two things: 1) I couldn’t change the type on my typewriter so who was this advice for (who was lucky enough to have italics), and 2) underlining wasted so much typewriter ribbon. It was the second that really irritated me. I’d even try to re-ink my ribbons, or if they were the one-time use ribbons, I’d try to rewind them. Neither ever worked very effectively, so underlining was something I really tried to avoid.

Then, sometime in the 1990’s, I bought a new Smith Corona word processor and it came with round disks that could be changed out. Here’s some pictures of a disk I just took out of my Smith Corona (yes, I still have my word processor as well as the Smith Corona computer-like machine I practically starved for in order to afford and I might even have my first Smith Corona typewriter around somewhere too — I’m such a fan-girl!):

Smith Corona reel - front side

This shows the front side of the disk. You can see that the font is Regency in a 10 point size.

Smith Corona reel - back side

 

This is the back and you can see the letters on ends of each leg. This letters would hit the ribbon and leave the imprint of the letter on the paper.

I had purchased a set of these at a thrift store and when I got home I discovered that an italic font as one of the disks. Now I could do my own italic fonts if I wanted. And I felt it was wasted because the advice was always to underline. Bummer!

But the question came up not to long ago as to why the publishers wanted underlined instead of italics on the manuscript. I mean, it’s all done by computers now days, isn’t it? Doesn’t the computer know the italic font?

Now if you Google why publishers want underline instead of italics you’ll get some strange answers (like it had to do with the spacing on typewriters, but that was from the writer’s end of it, not the publishers — why would the publisher request underlines? It’s not that publishers were trying to make the writer’s job easier as it would seem in some things I read on this) My theory is that underlining was actually for the printer, not the publisher. When the printer went to set up to publish a book on a press, the printer needed to know to change the fonts to italics. Now, imagine standing loading tiny letters onto plates all day… your eyes would get tired in no time at all. The underline helps the printer easily see when the change to italics is needed. Have you ever looked at a page and wondered if the text was actually in italics or not? Yeah, just like that.

Don’t assume that just because “everything is computerized” that it’s okay to put things in italics now. If you are trying to publish with a traditional publisher, read their guidelines. They will most likely tell you. If they don’t, stick with the underline until you are told by someone at the publishing house that italics are okay. Their eyes are tired from reading all day too, so this helps them out. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT think that you are sunshine enough to just use italics because your computer can do it and/or you think underlining is “old school.” I don’t give a flying crap! If the publisher’s guidelines don’t specify, then you go with the industry standard, which has been to underline. If you want to be part of the industry, then respect it. PERIOD!

If you are self-publishing, then don’t use the underline. You’ll waste your own time when you have to go back and put it in italics. I know; I’ve done this because old habits die hard and I kept underlining things and only caught it as I was setting up a print format for publication.  Grrr!

Okay, now get back to writing!

 

Dragons of Wellsdeep – pages 10 & 11 edit

Dragons of Wellsdeep_pg10_Dawn Blair

Dragons of Wellsdeep_pg11_Dawn Blair


 

Dragons of Wellsdeep_pg10_edited_Dawn Blair

Dragons of Wellsdeep_pg11_edited_Dawn Blair

 

The drafts on top are the original manuscript pages as it has been written. On the bottom are my edit drafts with my handwritten comments.

When the writer gets confused about what’s going on, it’s not a good sign. I did have to ask myself why I had Moonhunter waste time reaching over the seat for Balthier unless he was checking to see if he was okay or maybe to hoist him back into the seat. You’ll notice that a lot of times I do ask myself questions when I’m editing and that’s to help spur my thinking. I’m throwing out suggestions to myself. I even do this when I’m editing for others to help stimulate their ideas.

I have been told repeatedly that I have an issue with dangling participles and modifiers. Even after 40 years of writing, I don’t claim to be great with grammar. These dangling thingies have made no sense to me for years. Then, my youngest son sat down and explained it to me using one of my stories. The light bulb went on. I saw it, I got it. Now I’m beginning to see it in my writing as you can see from the bottom of page 10. That’s a good sign that I’m learning. To keep this learning going, I now have to learn how to fix it and once I can do that I’ll begin to reprogram myself when I’m writing so that it’s automatic as I’m drafting. This might be a very long way for me to go, but I’ll get there. I use to be very heavy with the trigger words of “was” and “had,” but I’ve retaught myself. There’s a lot of times when I’m writing that I’ll recognize that a sentence will need to be rewritten and my brain will work faster than my fingers so it automatically comes out cleaned up. I know I will get to this point with dangling modifiers too, after I learn and train myself to fix them.

Page 11 looks like it was run over by a big truck and it’s bleeding out everywhere. The writing was not tight. There are things missing, mostly description and series of event issues. I can hear the audience screaming, “More, more, more!” That’s not a bad thing; I just have to work harder.

I will transcribe all my chicken scratches here here for you. The passage should read:

When his eyelids opened, his vision filled with the sharp clarity of dragonvision. A red veil magnified his attackers as though they were only meters in front of him. The three men standing on the ridge wore cloaks of tanned hide. The one in the white and black fur yelled at the other two men, who were having a hard time holding onto the large blaster…

It’s still not a perfect edit, but that’s how I have it suggested to read now. It gives me a starting point. Having something to work with is important. A description of their attackers probably should come much sooner than this and I’ll rewrite to have the description used as a pace controlling device (so much more on that later!). As I’ve said before, this really is a first draft and I’m discovering the story as I’m writing — I didn’t know about the dragonvision until this moment. Surprise! So, my challenge will be in weaving all these elements in so that the reader isn’t jarred while reading the story. This is working the craft. It takes time and patience. If you aren’t willing to work it to be your best with all the knowledge of your craft that you have at that given moment, then maybe you should stop. It’s like me with learning about the dangling modifiers — I didn’t know any better before, but now I do and I will fix forward. I want to write and publish the best stories I can and I hope I’m always improving. I hope you desire the same thing.

Go back through the page and read the proposed changes. How would you incorporate changes? What would you do? Do you see something I missed. Comment below. Then we can have fun and see how the page develops into the second draft together.

Don’t forget about my Patreon page. Let other writers in your online and offline circles know about this blog so they can come get the help they need too. Let’s make better stories!

Happy writing!

The Dreaded Word: Had

Last week I wrote about how “was” was a trigger word for a  state of being. This time I’d like to write about another trigger word: “had”

“Had” represents something that happened in the past or a quality/state of being.

He had gone to the store. He’s already been to the store in the past outside of the present moment.

She had a way with words that made it hard to tell if she was lying or not. A quality that is viewed from an outside perspective, probably gained from prior experience.

Sometimes there is no way to get around “had.” In the first example of going to the store, it might just be important that he did stop at the store, but nothing that would move the story along happened there so it’s a quick phrase and move on. Now let’s take an example from page 8 of Dragons of Wellsdeep.

Balthier had scolded him often for getting ahead of himself. 

Obviously, Moonhunter is hearing a lecture in his head because he’s heard it many times before. But do you also see how the “had” makes the story be told rather than shown? This is an important fact, that Moonhunter has been scolded before for not staying present in the moment.

I wondered if there was a way to show that lecture in this very scene. Since it just started, it might mean expanding the scene a bit earlier than where I have it currently beginning. That wouldn’t be a bad option since I never explain exactly what they are doing in this scene and since I know that their “job” is something I still have in my head but I haven’t shown the reader.

My other choice is to show it in the scene before when Moonhunter first hatches from the dragon egg. It could be his first lecture. Either way works.

When you encounter a “had,” the first thing you should ask yourself is if there is a better way of showing this in the scene and if it’s even necessary. Is it important for the reader to know he had been at the store? Could he just walk through the door with bags in his hands?

Let’s take an example:

Col had never worn boots. In fact, until today, he had never wore footwear at all. Now the balls of his feet had thick blisters that stung when he touched them.  He had things cooking for dinner, but he didn’t think he could stand at the stove long enough to stir the pots.

Let’s pretend this is the first time the character makes an appearance in the story and it’s his point of view we’re in. Let’s make this present in the scene rather than full of flashbacks.

Col grabbed a stool and carried as he hobbled back to the stove. His feet throbbed from the blisters growing on the balls of his feet.  He ought to boil those foul boots along with his dinner. He sat down to stir the pots, then raised his foot to his lap to inspect the fluid-filled bumps which stung as he touched them. If wearing footwear resulted in this pain, today would be his first and last time for those boots.

We now know that he’s never worn boots before and probably will never again if he has his way — that takes care of the “had’s” in the first two sentences. We see him touching the blisters — “had” in the third sentence. We see him actually cooking dinner — “had” in the fourth sentence. Easy enough, right?

Let’s look at another example, one that follows more along with the quality or state of being.

Lady Bridget had on a red dress which reached all the way to the floor. Her hair had been done into coiled braided and adorned with little red teacup roses. She looked around the room once. Her eyes landed on Sir Arthur and her face lit with glee as she started over to him. Hadn’t she had enough of him already?

I’ve seen the first two sentences of that example written out by many authors as an attempt to show what the character is wearing. How often do you think about what you are wearing when you’re not looking in a mirror or someone is commenting you on your appearance? Yeah, not much. So why do authors insist on doing this? More on this topic later too.

I’ve clearly made this an outside perspective here because I want to use it as an example of such. Let’s make this better:

Lady Bridget entered the ballroom in a red dress which swept over the marble floor. It swished around as she stopped to look around the room. Little red teacup roses adorned the coiled braids of her brown hair. Her gaze landed on Sir Arthur and her face lit with glee as she started over to him. How would he crush her heart tonight? Why did the whole of the kingdom have to bear to watch it happen again?

Damn, I almost feel sorry for the narrator as he watches this stupid git throwing herself into pain’s way again. I’ll tell you, I had a hard time keeping it out of becoming a first person narrative, but that tells me how immediate it was in my mind as I was writing.

If these posts are helping you, please consider becoming a subscriber on my Patreon page and let other writers know about this blog. Every author that comes here and learns something new is a win for them. Everyone who supports me shows me that they appreciate what I’m doing here. Even a $1 per month shows me that I have someone’s vote — that someone wants me to continue my mission here. I believe it’s important. Don’t you?

Until next time, happy writing!