Tag Archives: mistakes

Rewriting a Life

I’ve been following Dean Wesley Smith lately. I swear he’s the writer that I always imagined I would become. In seeing what he’s done, I find myself getting angry with myself (after a taste of jealousy) at having gotten off track. Where did I go so wrong?

Okay, I do know the answer to that. I let my dreams get derailed by a desire for a “normal” life as a wife and a mother. That put me in a bad situation, one where I had to enjoy the rat race while continuing my dreams on the sidelines. I just wish now that I could’ve pushed myself harder than I have over the last 20 year. I’ve been moseying. I haven’t been playing for keeps. Some of that time, I truly feel that the situation couldn’t be helped. I had life issues working against me. But, I still could have been doing more. I wasn’t fully committed. I was scared.

Now I’m more scared.

I realize after watching several of Dean’s videos and reading his books, I have to get my life back on track. I’m not a brilliant writer by any means, but I have stories inside me I want to tell and I am 20 years shorter on being able to get them all out. That’s scary.

It just means that I have to be more focused and productive. I have to write more. I have to be a better writer to make a cleaner draft. Yes, that means doing the work upfront, not afterward. A light edit, not a complete rewrite. I’ve never had any issues before of writing something then throwing it all out to completely rewrite it because the sequence of scenes wasn’t right or I got a better idea. I’ve always trusted the process and if my gut tells me something is wrong I throw it out and go back to when it last felt right and started again. You know, my life hasn’t felt right for some time but I hadn’t wanted to trust the process of life like I do the process of writing. But now I realize how vitally important that is. It’s scary to let go of something that you know. In a Les Brown speech I was recently listening to, he says that “known hells are preferable to strange heavens.” He’s so very right. Now comes the time when I have to throw out several years of my life to get it back on track. I have to commit to something new or I’m going to keep facing the same life I have now. I don’t like this draft I’m writing. I have to break my thinking. I have to go back to where it last felt right and start again.

Scary.

I know that I don’t have to throw out all the scenes I’ve written, just the ones that aren’t working. It’s going to take commitment to fill in the gaps, but I’m ready. I can see how the Universe has positioned me for this when I thought I was struggling through hard times and looking for answers. I am exactly where I need to be. I’ve found exactly what I needed to find. Learned exactly what I needed to find. Manifested in my life exactly what I needed to have for moving forward. I’m ready.

Thanks to Dean Wesley Smith’s for his encouragement and example. I now know that not only can be done but that it works. I can do this. More importantly, I want it more than ever.

I’m ready to rewrite my life.

Gardening and Tending

My attendance on this blog has been lacking. Okay, my attendance on all my blogs has been lacking. Even though I said on my other blog that I was going to get better about it. No, really, I want to be better at it.

I want to be better at a lot of things. My audiobooks have taken up a major percentage of my focus and time right now. I want great sounding audiobooks, so I’ve been working really hard at learning how to record, edit, and master great sounding audio. That’s even harder than it sounds. Especially when I keep finding problems in the hardware. Frustration and I are good friends now. Plus, I’ve been trying to update my ebook files (including correcting known issues in the files) so I can re-release them for wider distribution. I know that in today’s world it’s so easy to make corrections that it’s best to fix forward and I do believe in this “gardening and tending” philosophy. I know that nothing I ever do will be perfect (I’m not a perfectionist), but I start with as near as I can get and fix forward. I’m not sure how that will work with audiobooks, so that does scare me a bit, but we shall see what happens.

But another aspect of fixing forward is making sure you learn from your mistakes and doing your best to apply the knowledge next time. That’s always been my purpose here with betterwriterblog. I want to point out mistakes so that they can be avoided in the first draft. I don’t want anyone to get bogged down in editing so much that they never get around to releasing their stories. I also see now how this is my journey to be a better writer myself. I am in the process of teaching myself too. I think I’ll be tweaking my scope here to illustrate things I’m learning about being a writer as I make my journey. It’s not about the destination (whether that be a completed book or where you want to end up in life), it’s about the journey (how one continues to grow, even when that growth is painful).  I hope that what I share helps you become a better writer too.