Dragons of Wellsdeep- prologue- page 2 edit

Dragons of Wellsdeep_Prologue_Dawn Blair-2Dragons of Wellsdeep_Prologue_Dawn Blair-2_edit

About my page 2 edits:

My word clusters continue on this page. In fact, I think they are growing.

The sentences with * at the end indicate that I have a “was” in the sentence. I’ve also put a square around the little offensive word. Don’t worry — I will get around to writing my blog post(s) about why I dislike “was” so much. And yes, it is possible to write without using “was.”

I’ve also marked areas that have bumped me or where I want more. I’ve even been critiquing like I’ve been working on someone else’s story (“Can you show this more?” and “Bumped me.”) I like to imagine this as my left brain talking to my right brain.

Based on this page, I really do think that it will grow in size as I work more material into it.

On this page, my point of view (pov) is really setting in; it’s the thing in the water’s point of view. But I’m not deep enough in the character’s head. That’s part of my call for MORE! I should at least try imagining this from the little boy’s point of view, just to see if the story can carry it. I personally don’t think it can; it just wouldn’t have the same suspense. The reader needs to fear for the little boy. Therefore, it has to be the well-dweller’s point of view.

I’ve also written far enough into the story as I’m posting this, that I know I have a change. Yes, as you review the first draft (after having it all completed) you will see things that you need to change and correct. I just know from the pages I’ve already written that I didn’t like the idea of a dragon (yes, the thing in the well is a dragon) returning to spawn where it was hatched. It’s a fair idea as it stands, but it doesn’t work for my story and I’ll be taking it out. I think.

Note your suggestions in the comments below.